I know old Donald Trump gets a hard time around here.

So let’s give him a break this week and focus instead on my other favourite member of that fine family – his halfwit son Donald Trump Jr.

When he’s not endlessly Instagramming photographs of his children in an attempt to prove he’s the World’s Greatest Dad, all of them hashtagged with things like #daddytime #blessed #daddysgirl #family (Don Jr is probably the kind of person who buys himself World’s Greatest Dad mugs and T-shirts), or posting pictures of himself sitting on a tree log in the forest, looking mournfully into the distance, looking for all the world like the world’s worst country singer whose album is called I’ve Just Gone to the Toilet Without Taking My Trousers Down, Don Jr’s favourite pastime seems to be lying to – or at the very least being frantically evasive with – congress.

Last week, the Senate Judiciary Committee released the transcript of Junior’s behind-closed-doors testimony about the now-infamous 2016 Trump Tower meeting and Russia.

You remember the one, don’t you? It was the meeting that was advertised to Team Trump as “HEY COMRADES! RUSSIA HAS ALL THE DIRT ON HILLARY AND WE WOULD LIKE TO GIVE IT TO YOU! SCREW CLINTON! TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT!”

It was the meeting that Team Trump later said they couldn’t really remember happening and that, even if it did happen, then it was no biggie because the pesky Russians didn’t really have any good Hillary dirt anyway and, even if they did, no one told Donald Sr about it – so what’s the problem?

Compared to his son, Trump is only slightly less stupid says John Niven

Now, way back in 2013, Young Don tweeted a quote from Mark Twain saying: “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” Well, it turned out that he really took that quote to heart.

Because during his interview in September 2017 about a meeting that took place in June the previous year, he told Congress that he “couldn’t recall” something a staggering 105 times. On top of this, he said he “could not remember” something 37 times and he just “didn’t know” something 44 times.

That’s 186 lapses of memory about something that happened just over a year earlier.

Poor Don! He’s only 40 and his brain’s got more holes in it than a sweater that’s been left in a bin bag full of moths. He’s got the retentive memory of a 95-year-old cannabis addict who’s just come out of a coma.

Of course, part of the whole collusion investigation is focused on the question of what Don Jr’s only-slightly-less-stupid father knew about Russian interference in the election.

So far, Team Trump have been focused on the following strategy: Deny it ever happened. If it did happen, it’s no big deal because the President never knew about it.

It would be this strategy Don Jr was thinking of when he said he “didn’t know” if his father had a blocked number on his phone. Because in between calls with the Russians, it appears young Don was speaking to some mysterious figure on a blocked number. Don Jr – of course – “can’t recall” who this might have been.

But I’m pretty sure there’s one person who’ll already have got that number and will be able to help straighten his memory out – Robert Mueller.

Niven reckons Trump would be quick to throw his son under the bus to save his own skin

So the question will now become: Will Donald Trump throw his first-born son under the bus in a last-ditch attempt to save his own skin? I think we all know the answer to that one.

Hopefully you can call blocked numbers from prison. That way, young Don can still get to hear his daddy’s voice now and again.

There is a famous – and I very much hope true – story about when Ivana Trump knew she was expecting a boy. Donald said to her: “What should we call him?”

“Donald Junior,” Ivana said.

“You can’t do that!” the father-to-be said. “Why not?” “What if he’s an idiot?”

Relax, Donald. Once and for all, you can finally take the “what if” out of that sentence.